If one was to find out that a friend or a relative is going through a challenging time, there are a number of things that they could do. They could end up calling them up, or they could go and see them.
Once they have made contact, they could the take the time to discover what has been going on for them. This could be a time when they will simply be present, giving another person the opportunity to talk.
The Next Step
After this has taken place, the other person could ask them for their advice or ask them to discuss their ideas. Then again, one could share their ideas throughout the time that another person is speaking.
In addition to this, they may even say that they will contact them every now and then to see how they are getting on.
What this will show is that you will realise that the other person is an individual, instead of an expansion of them. It’ll be clear that there is only so much that they can do for this person.
If they had been to over step the mark, so to speak, they would wind up trying to do things that this person ought to do for themselves.
Through being this way, it won’t result in one neglecting other areas of their life. They are going to be just too aware of what they must take care of in their own life, so getting completely consumed in another person’s life is not going to interest them.
What is likely to play a part here is that one will see themselves as a capable human being, which is the reason why they see other people in this way. Thus, regardless of what this person is going through, they’re not likely to become a helpless victim who has to be saved or rescued.
Ready to Assist
Now, this is not to say that one would not be ready to neglect certain elements of the life for a short while if someone they knew wanted a lot of support. What it boils down to is that if they were to do something like this, they will not see themselves as some kind of saviour.
Also, they will know that there will come a stage when it is time for them to take a step back, to be certain they don’t interfere with another individual’s life. It might have taken them a little while to get to this point in life.
Alternately, after one has spoken to a friend or a family member who’s going through a challenging time, they could wind up telling them exactly what they need to do. Ergo, regardless of whether they’ve asked for their help or notthey will give it to them.
Or, they could offer their unsolicited advice before the other person has even explained exactly what has been happening. The other person is then not likely to be seen as a capable human being, they will be seen as someone who has to be saved/rescued.
A Natural Reaction
If this is how they see the other person, and they may not even be aware of this, it’s not likely to be much of surprise for them to behave this way. This will prevent them from realising they are crossing another person’s boundaries.
Other areas of one’s life are then going to end up being neglected, in order for them to try to fix the other person. At exactly the same time, an individual could be in a position in which their life isn’t very fulfilling.
Even so, they could present themselves as someone who’s strong and has it altogether, just for this to be a facade. Deep down, they might feel incapable and as though they ought to be saved.
Their need to try and rescue/save another person is then likely to be attributed to the fact that this person reminds them of what they’ve disconnected from within themselves. Solving what is taking place externally is a way for them to keep what’s taking place within them at bay.
More Harm than Good
Out of the need to prevent themselves, they aren’t likely to be able to realize how destructive their behaviour is. Their behavior will also be a way for them to prove to themselves that they are capable, with rescuing others a means for them to attempt to do this.
If the other person wasn’t out of touch with their power to start with, they may soon end up this way after one has been around them for a little while.
If someone finds that they have the tendency to rescue/save others and that they find it tough to be there for others, it can demonstrate they’re carrying wounds from their early years. To change their behaviour, it will be vital for them to get in touch with the part of themselves that needs to be saved.
One way of looking at this would be to say that their inner child is carrying plenty of pain, and that this part of them wants to be heard. Through connecting to this part of them and grieving their unmet childhood needs, it can let them grow.